From: Blaine (86495574)
Date: 12/14/2009 12:38:54 PM
How psychopaths reach the top of hierarchies
Posted by: "G. W. Mills" chukoliang220@gmail.com
Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:26 pm (PST)
I've seen articles similar to this one. One (somewhere) pointed out
that, in war most of the killing is done my a very small minority of
soldiers, sailors, airmen, or marines. Many servicemen would risk their
lives to save others, but only about 5% have the killer instinct that's a
prerequisite for the kind of "heroics" that involve killing to the degree
that it earns a medal.
Jerry
http://dissidentvoice.org/2008/05/beware-the-psychopath-my-son/
Beware the Psychopath, My Son
by Clinton Callahan / May 12th, 2008
The following is largely extracted from two articles:
*Twilight of the Psychopaths*
http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/home/Frontpage/2008/01/02/02073.html
by Dr. Kevin Barrett and
*The Trick of the Psychopath's Trade*
http://www.sott.net/articles/show/148141-The-Trick-%20of-the-Psychopath-s-Trade-Make-Us-Believe-that-Evil-Comes-from-Others
by Silvia Cattori.
Both articles are recommended. Both articles reference
the book *Political Ponerology: A science on the nature of evil adjusted for
political purposes*, by Andrzej Lobaczewski. Cattori's article is longer and
includes an interview with the book's editors, Laura Knight-Jadczyk and
Henry See.
I make the effort to share this information because it gives me, at last, a
plausible answer to a long-..unanswered question: Why, no matter how much
intelligent goodwill exists in the world, is there so much war, suffering
and injustice? It doesn't seem to matter what creative plan, ideology,
religion, or philosophy great minds come up with, nothing seems to improve
our lot. Since the dawn of civilization, this pattern repeats itself over
and over again.
The answer is that civilization, as we know it, is largely the creation of
psychopaths. All civilizations, our own included, have been built on slavery
and mass murder. Psychopaths have played a disproportionat..e role in the
development of civilization, because they are hard-wired to lie, kill,
cheat, steal, torture, manipulate, and generally inflict great suffering on
other humans without feeling any remorse, in order to establish their own
sense of security through domination. The inventor of civilization ' the
first tribal chieftain who successfully brainwashed an army of controlled
mass murderers ' was almost certainly a genetic psychopath. Since that
momentous discovery, psychopaths have enjoyed a significant advantage over
non-..psychopaths in the struggle for power in civilizational hierarchies '
especially military hierarchies.
Behind the apparent insanity of contemporary history, is the actual insanity
of psychopaths fighting to preserve their disproportionat..e power. And as
their power grows ever-..more-..threatened, the psychopaths grow
ever-..more-..desperate. We are witnessing the apotheosis of the overworld ' the
overlapping criminal syndicates that lurk above ordinary society and law
just as the underworld lurks below it.
During the past fifty years, psychopaths have gained almost absolute control
of all the branches of government. You can notice this if you observe
carefully that no matter what illegal thing a modern politician does, no one
will really take him to task. All of the so called scandals that have come
up, any one of which would have taken down an authentic administration,.. are
just farces played out for the public, to distract them, to make them think
that the democracy is still working.
One of the main factors to consider in terms of how a society can be taken
over by a group of pathological deviants is that the psychopaths' only
limitation is the participation of susceptible individuals within that given
society. Lobaczewski gives an average figure for the most active deviants of
approximately 6% of a given population. (1% essential psychopaths and up to
5% other psychopathies and characteropathi..es.) The essential psychopath is
at the center of the web. The others form the first tier of the psychopath's
control system.
The next tier of such a system is composed of individuals who were born
normal, but are either already warped by long-term exposure to psychopathic
material via familial or social influences, or who, through psychic weakness
have chosen to meet the demands of psychopathy for their own selfish ends.
Numerically, according to Lobaczewski, this group is about 12% of a given
population under normal conditions.
So approximately 18% of any given population is active in the creation and
imposition of a Pathocracy. The 6% group constitutes the Pathocratic
nobility and the 12% group forms the new bourgeoisie, whose economic
situation is the most advantageous.
When you understand the true nature of psychopathic influence, that it is
conscienceless,.. emotionless, selfish, cold and calculating, and devoid of
any moral or ethical standards, you are horrified, but at the same time
everything suddenly begins to makes sense. Our society is ever more soulless
because the people who lead it and who set the example are soulless ' they
literally have no conscience.
In his book *Political Ponerology*, Andrej Lobaczewski explains that
clinical psychopaths enjoy advantages even in non-violent competitions to
climb the ranks of social hierarchies. Because they can lie without remorse
(and without the telltale physiological stress that is measured by lie
detector tests), psychopaths can always say whatever is necessary to get
what they want. In court, for example, psychopaths can tell extreme
bald-faced lies in a plausible manner, while their sane opponents are
handicapped by an emotional predisposition to remain within hailing distance
of the truth. Too often, the judge or jury imagines that the truth must be
somewhere in the middle, and then issues decisions that benefit the
psychopath. As with judges and juries, so too with those charged with
decisions concerning who to promote and who not to promote in corporate,
military and governmental hierarchies. The result is that all hierarchies
inevitably become top-heavy with psychopaths. Since psychopaths have no
limitations on what they can or will do to get to the top, the ones in
charge are generally pathological. *It is not power that corrupts, it is
that corrupt individuals seek power*.
How can we distinguish between psychopaths and healthy people? What is the
portrait of a true psychopath?
Such a dangerous question has almost never been successfully asked. The
reason is because we mistakenly confuse *healthy* for *normal*. Human
psychological diversity is the *health* of our race. There is no
*..normal*because healthy humans continuously evolve beyond all
normalizing standards.
The terrorism of searching through hierarchies for anyone deviating from *
normal* is no different from witch hunts or Inquisitions. You must remember
that hierarchies thrive on such low dramas, torturing victims until they
confess to *evil* beliefs. Not so long ago the church and state ongoingly
acquired significant income and property through witch hunts and
Inquisitions. This continued for over two hundred and fifty years. Ten
generations of Europeans understood pogrom as normal life. Let us not return
to that nightmare. Testing for *normal* is guaranteed to backfire in our
face. There is no normal. But there is conscience.
We have very little empirical evidence to support the idea that true
psychopathy is the result of an abused childhood, and much empirical
evidence to support that it is genetic. The neurobiological.. model offers us
the greatest hope of being able to identify even the most devious
psychopath. Other recent studies lead to similar results and conclusions:
that psychopaths have great difficulty processing verbal and nonverbal
affective (emotional) material, that they tend to confuse the emotional
significance of events, and most importantly, that *these deficits show up
in brain scans*! A missing internal connection between the feeling heart and
the thinking brain is detectable.
Psychopaths are incapable of authentic deep emotions. In fact, when Robert
Hare, a Canadian psychologist who spent his career studying psychopathy, did
brain scans on psychopaths while showing them two sets of words, one set of
neutral words with no emotional associations and a second set with
emotionally charged words, while different areas of the brain lit up in the
non-..psychopathic control group, in the psychopaths, both sets were processed
in the same area of the brain, the area that deals with language. They did
not have an emotional reaction until they intellectually concluded that it
would be better if they had one, and then they whipped up an emotional
response just for show.
The simplest, clearest and truest portrait of the psychopath is given in the
titles of three seminal works on the subject: *Without Conscience* by Robert
Hare, *The Mask of Sanity* by Hervey Cleckley, and *Snakes in Suits* by
Robert Hare and Paul Babiak. A psychopath is exactly that: conscienceless.
The most important thing to remember is that this lack of conscience is
hidden from view behind a mask of normality that is often so convincing that
even experts are deceived. As a result, psychopaths become the *Snakes in
Suits* that control our world.
Psychopaths lack a sense of remorse or empathy with others. They can be
extremely charming and are experts at using talk to charm and hypnotize
their prey. They are also irresponsible. Nothing is ever their fault;
someone else or the world at large is always to blame for all of their
problems or their mistakes. Martha Stout, in her book *The Sociopath Next
Door*, identifies what she calls the pity ploy. Psychopaths use pity to
manipulate. They convince you to give them one more chance, and to not tell
anyone about what they have done. So another trait ' and a very important
one ' is their ability to control the flow of information.
They also seem to have little real conception of past or future, living
entirely for their immediate needs and desires. Because of the barren
quality of their inner life, they are often seeking new thrills, anything
from feeling the power of manipulating others to engaging in illegal
activities simply for the rush of adrenaline.
Another trait of the psychopath is what Lobaczewski calls their special
psychological knowledge of normal people. They have studied us. They know us
better than we know ourselves. They are experts in knowing how to push our
buttons, to use our emotions against us. But beyond that, they even seem to
have some sort of hypnotic power over us. When we begin to get caught up in
the web of the psychopath, our ability to think deteriorates, gets muddied.
They seem to cast some sort of spell over us. It is only later when we are
no longer in their presence, out of their spell, that the clarity of thought
returns and we find ourselves wondering how it was that we were unable to
respond or counter what they were doing.
Psychopaths learn to recognize each other in a crowd as early as childhood,
and they develop an awareness of the existence of other individuals similar
to themselves. They also become conscious of being of a different world from
the majority of other people surrounding them. They view us from a certain
distance.
Think about the ramifications of this statement: Psychopaths are, to some
extent, self-aware as a group even in childhood! Recognizing their
fundamental difference from the rest of humanity, their allegiance would be
to others of their kind, that is, to other psychopaths.
Their own twisted sense of honor compels them to cheat and revile
non-..psychopaths and their values. In contradiction to the ideals of normal
people, psychopaths feel breaking promises and agreements is normal
behavior.
Not only do they covet possessions and power and feel they have the right to
them just because they exist and can take them, but they gain special
pleasure in usurping and taking from others; what they can plagiarize,
swindle, and extort are fruits far sweeter than those they can earn through
honest labor. They also learn very early how their personalities can have
traumatizing effects on the personalities of non-..psychopaths, and how to
take advantage of this root of terror for purposes of achieving their goals.
So now, imagine how human beings who are totally in the dark about the
presence of psychopaths can be easily deceived and manipulated by these
individuals, gaining power in different countries, pretending to be loyal to
the local populations while at the same time playing up obvious and easily
discernible physical differences between groups (such as race, skin color,
religion, etc). Psychologically.. normal humans would be set against one
another on the basis of unimportant differences (think of Rwanda 1994, think
of Israelis and Palestinians) while the deviants in power, with a
fundamental difference from the rest of us, a lack of conscience, an
inability to feel for another human being, reaped the benefits and pulled
the strings.
We are seeing the final desperate power-grab or *endgame* (Alex Jones) of
brutal, cunning gangs of CIA drug-runners and President-..killers;
money-..laundering international bankers and their hit-men ' economic and
otherwise; corrupt military contractors and gung-ho generals; corporate
predators and their political enablers; brainwashers and mind-rapists
euphemistically.. known as psy-ops and PR specialists ' in short, the whole
crew of certifiable psychopaths running our so-called civilization. And they
are running scared.
Why does the Pathocracy fear it is losing control? Because it is threatened
by the spread of knowledge. The greatest fear of any psychopath is of being
found out.
Psychopaths go through life knowing that they are completely different from
other people. Deep down they know something is missing in them. They quickly
learn to hide their lack of empathy, while carefully studying others'
emotions so as to mimic normalcy while cold-bloodedly manipulating the
normals.
Today, thanks to new information technologies, we are on the brink of
unmasking the psychopaths and building a civilization of, by and for the
healthy human being ' a civilization without war, a civilization based on
truth, a civilization in which the saintly few rather than the diabolical
few would gravitate to positions of power. We already have the knowledge
necessary to diagnose psychopathic personalities and keep them out of power.
We have the knowledge necessary to dismantle the institutions in which
psychopaths especially flourish ' militaries, intelligence agencies, large
corporations, and secret societies. We simply need to disseminate this
knowledge, and the will to use it, as widely and as quickly as possible.
Until the knowledge and awareness of pathological human beings is given the
attention it deserves and becomes part of the general knowledge of all human
beings, there is no way that things can be changed in any way that is
effective and long-lasting. If half the people agitating for truth or
stopping the war or saving the earth would focus their efforts, time and
money on exposing psychopathy, we might get somewhere.
One might ask if the weak point of our society has been our tolerance of
psychopathic behavior? Our disbelief that someone could seem like an
intelligent leader and still be acting deceptively on their own behalf
without conscience? Or is it merely ignorance?
If the general voting public is not aware that there exists a category of
people we sometimes perceive as almost human, who look like us, who work
with us, who are found in every race, every culture, speaking every
language, but who are lacking conscience, how can the general public take
care to block them from taking over the hierarchies? General ignorance of
psychopathology.. may prove to be the downfall of civilization. We stand by
like grazing sheep as political/..corporate elites throw armies of our
innocent sons and daughters against fabricated enemies as a way of
generating trillions in profits, vying against each other for pathological
hegemony.
Nearly everyone who has been part of an organization working for social
change has probably seen the same dynamic play out: The good and sincere
work of many can be destroyed by the actions of one person. That doesn't
bode well for bringing some sort of justice to the planet! In fact, if
psychopaths dominate political hierarchies, is it any wonder that peaceful
demonstrations have zero impact on the outcome of political decisions?
Perhaps it is time to choose something other than massive, distant
hierarchies as a way of governing ourselves?
So many efforts to provide essays, research reports, expos's and books to
leaders so they might take the new information to heart and change their
behavior have come to naught. For example, in the final paragraph of his
revised edition of the book, *The Party's Over*, Richard Heinberg writes:
I still believe that if the people of the world can be helped to understand
the situation we are in, the options available, and the consequences of the
path we are currently on, then it is at least possible that they can be
persuaded to undertake the considerable effort and sacrifice that will be
entailed in a peaceful transition to a sustainable, locally based,
decentralized, low-energy, resource-..conserving social regime. But inspired
leadership will be required.
And that is the just-murdered fantasy. *There are no inspired leaders
anymore*. And in hierarchical structures there can't be. Assuming that you
can elect men or women to office who will see reason and the light of day,
and who will change and learn and grow, make compassionate decisions and
take conscientious actions' is a foolish, childish dream. Continuing to
dream it simply plays into psychopathic agendas.
Only when the 75% of humanity with a healthy conscience come to understand
that we have a natural predator, a group of people who live amongst us,
viewing us as powerless victims to be freely fed upon for achieving their
inhuman ends, only then will we take the fierce and immediate actions needed
to defend what is preciously human. Psychological deviants have to be
removed from any position of power over people of conscience, period. People
must be made aware that such individuals exist and must learn how to spot
them and their manipulations. The hard part is that one must also struggle
against those tendencies to mercy and kindness in oneself in order not to
become prey.
The real problem is that the knowledge of psychopathy and how psychopaths
rule the world has been effectively hidden. People do not have the adequate,
nuanced knowledge they need to really make a change from the bottom up.
Again and again, throughout history it has been *meet the new boss, same as
the old boss*. If there is any work that is deserving of full time efforts
and devotion for the sake of helping humanity in this present dark time, it
is the study of psychopathy and the propagation of this information as far
and wide and fast as possible.
There are only two things that can bring a psychopath under submission:
1. A bigger psychopath.
2. The non-violent, absolute refusal to submit to psychopathic controls no
matter the consequences (non-violent noncompliance).
Let us choose path 2! If individuals simply sat down and refused to lift a
hand to further one single aim of the psychopathic agenda, if people refused
to pay taxes, if soldiers refused to fight, if government workers and
corporate drones and prison guards refused to go to work, if doctors refused
to treat psychopathic elites and their families, the whole system would
grind to a screeching halt.
True change happens in the moment that a person becomes aware of psychopathy
in all its chilling details. From this new awareness, the world looks
different, and entirely new actions can be taken. Distinguishing between
human and psychopathic qualities begins the foundation of responsibility
upon which we have a real chance to create sustainable culture.
Showing posts with label abusive-personalities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abusive-personalities. Show all posts
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Florida Children Ages 8-16 Recruited to Shoot Pigs to Death!
Government teaching our kids how to maim and kill. it is an Abomination unto life itself. the Sick-Minded running the world. makes me want to PUKE! ~LisaMarie~
From: Adam and Eve (113029556)
WTF?
Reposted by:We Are All Connected
Date: 10/16/2009 10:08:48 AM
Subject: Florida Children Ages 8-16 Recruited to Shoot Pigs to Death!
POSTED BY: Mama Kimberly ♥'s animals!
Florida Children Ages 8 to 16 Recruited to Shoot Pigs
to Death
To: George H. Sheldon (Secretary, Florida Department
of Children and Families), Cori Cuttler (Community
Affairs Program Manager, The Southwest Florida
Water Management District) and Rodney L. Barreto
(Chairman, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission)
Started by: L. Swa_
The Southwest Florida Water Management District is sponsoring a pig shoot out for children.
The children's pig shoot out is scheduled for October 17th and October 24th at the Edward W. Chance Reserve - Gilley Creek Tract in the Lake Manatee Lower Watershed southeast of the city of St. Petersburg, Florida.
The guns will be loaded when the children are situated in a blind.
Letter:
Dear Southwest Water District:
Government sponsored hunt for children between eight years of age to 16.
"One of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child is to kill or torture an animal and get away with it," Margaret Meade, Anthropologist.
These kids are not playing with water pistols. If so much as one child gets hurt, guess who is going to get sued? The State of Florida. Millions of dollars. I'm sure the lawyers are licking their chops at this possibility. You sponsored it, you will be held responsible- these children will be firing loaded guns.
Damage to society:
Children are going to be shooting and killing animals. These animals don't die right away. They scream in agony, suffer, run, and bleed to death. Rarely does a gun shoot and kill right away. Is this what you want children to learn? ARE YOU SERIOUS??? This IS animal cruelty. You all may not think it is, but it is. This teaches children to be cruel to animals. Would you say this is cruel to do to a puppy or kitten? Listening to screams of agony for fun is cruel. Yes, the law says it is legal to shoot pigs (which are more intelligent than dogs), but regardless what the law says, these animals SCREAM in agony when they get shot, and they die in pain. So this is the fun you want to teach children??? Maybe these kids will have so much fun killing these pigs the next targets will be neighborhood dogs and cats. They, too, are animals on all fours. More county expense on investigating animal cruelty charges (shoot someone's dog or cat I guarantee they owners WILL call the police and file charges and/or sue!)
Damage:
EVIDENCE:
http://www.jaapl.org/cgi/reprint/30/2/257.pdf
The Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law
J Am Acad Psychiatry Law 30:257–65, 2002
"A history of animal cruelty during childhood was significantly associated with APD [Antisocial Personality Disorder], antisocial personality traits, and polysubstance abuse. Mental retardation, psychotic disorders, and alcohol abuse showed no such association."
The United States of America is an extremely violent nation
http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G1-166094302.html
Gunshot wounds: "Each year, approximately 30,000 to 50,000 Americans are killed secondary to gunshot wounds. This upper range nearly equals the number of fatalities (59,021) sustained during the 12 years (1961 to 1973) of the Vietnam war. (1) In 2003, the last year for which these statistics are available, 30,136 persons were fatally wounded by firearms, representing 18.4% of all injury-related fatalities."
http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm
Just last year, 16,272 Americans were murdered in USA-in one year. 1,382,012 individuals suffered violent crime; 89,000 individuals were victims of forceful rape. Last year, 304,059,724 populated the United States and 11,149,927 were the victims of some forceful traumatizing and/or lethal crime.
SERIAL KILLERS LOOSE IN AMERICA:
http://fbilibrary.fbiacademy.edu/bibliographies/serialkillers.htm
"Authorities estimate that there are between 35-50 serial killers on the loose in the United States-and new reports of suspected killers are constantly surfacing all over the globe." According to an FBI Behavioral Unit study 85% of the world's serial killers are in America.
Published October 29, 2007: LINK BETWEEN ANIMAL ABUSE AND SERIAL KILLERS
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/425882/the_link_between_animal_abuse_and_serial.html?cat=17
"Ted Bundy, David Berkowitz and Jeffrey Dahmer have more in common than just being serial killers. These three murderers are also connected by the fact that each of them tortured and/or killed animals during their childhoods. "Researchers as well as FBI and other law enforcement agencies nationwide have linked animal cruelty to domestic violence, child abuse, serial killings and to the recent rash of killings by school age children", says Dr. Randall Lockwood (vice president of training and initiatives for the Humane Society of the United States.
Some children are cruel to and torture animals to impress their peers, but future serial killers usually torture animals purely for their own enjoyment. Animal abuse is a recognized sign of a mental disorder. If a child hurts animals it should be a red flag and immediate action should be taken. While there are many factors that contribute to someone becoming a serial killer, the one constant they share is animal abuse.
Jeffrey Dahmer showed an intense interest in dismembering animals as a child. As an adult he was charged with murdering and dismembering at least sixteen people."
FINALLY: "One of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child is to kill or torture an animal and get away with it," Margaret Meade, Anthropologist.
I am just want to point out some facts before authorizing what you are doing and the legal liabilities should a child get harmed from this hunt, and the damage it may do to the child-may even create future violent criminals. Of course you all are going to do what you want anyway-but at least now you know the very real possible serious consequences of your decision. Of course the parents are agreeing to it, but you will be responsible for holding and encouraging it. Keep in mind when it comes to their kids getting hurt-parents SUE. Guess what--ACCIDENTS HAPPEN! That's why they call them accidents.
Sincerely,
CHILDREN 8-16 RECRUITED TO SHOOT HOGS TO DEATH IN FLORIDA
The Southwest Florida Water Management District is sponsoring a "hunt" by winning essay contest applicants. The contest was open to children 8-16. There were to be 24 winners, but the contest attracted only 20 applicants.
"One of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child is to kill or torture an animal and get away with it," - Margaret Meade, Anthropologist.
Show All Bulletins Mama Kimberly ♥'s animals Has Posted
From: Adam and Eve (113029556)
WTF?
Reposted by:We Are All Connected
Date: 10/16/2009 10:08:48 AM
Subject: Florida Children Ages 8-16 Recruited to Shoot Pigs to Death!
POSTED BY: Mama Kimberly ♥'s animals!
to Death
To: George H. Sheldon (Secretary, Florida Department
of Children and Families), Cori Cuttler (Community
Affairs Program Manager, The Southwest Florida
Water Management District) and Rodney L. Barreto
(Chairman, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission)
Started by: L. Swa_
The Southwest Florida Water Management District is sponsoring a pig shoot out for children.
The children's pig shoot out is scheduled for October 17th and October 24th at the Edward W. Chance Reserve - Gilley Creek Tract in the Lake Manatee Lower Watershed southeast of the city of St. Petersburg, Florida.
The guns will be loaded when the children are situated in a blind.
Letter:
Dear Southwest Water District:
Government sponsored hunt for children between eight years of age to 16.
"One of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child is to kill or torture an animal and get away with it," Margaret Meade, Anthropologist.
These kids are not playing with water pistols. If so much as one child gets hurt, guess who is going to get sued? The State of Florida. Millions of dollars. I'm sure the lawyers are licking their chops at this possibility. You sponsored it, you will be held responsible- these children will be firing loaded guns.
Damage to society:
Children are going to be shooting and killing animals. These animals don't die right away. They scream in agony, suffer, run, and bleed to death. Rarely does a gun shoot and kill right away. Is this what you want children to learn? ARE YOU SERIOUS??? This IS animal cruelty. You all may not think it is, but it is. This teaches children to be cruel to animals. Would you say this is cruel to do to a puppy or kitten? Listening to screams of agony for fun is cruel. Yes, the law says it is legal to shoot pigs (which are more intelligent than dogs), but regardless what the law says, these animals SCREAM in agony when they get shot, and they die in pain. So this is the fun you want to teach children??? Maybe these kids will have so much fun killing these pigs the next targets will be neighborhood dogs and cats. They, too, are animals on all fours. More county expense on investigating animal cruelty charges (shoot someone's dog or cat I guarantee they owners WILL call the police and file charges and/or sue!)
Damage:
EVIDENCE:
http://www.jaapl.org/cgi/reprint/30/2/257.pdf
The Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law
J Am Acad Psychiatry Law 30:257–65, 2002
"A history of animal cruelty during childhood was significantly associated with APD [Antisocial Personality Disorder], antisocial personality traits, and polysubstance abuse. Mental retardation, psychotic disorders, and alcohol abuse showed no such association."
The United States of America is an extremely violent nation
http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G1-166094302.html
Gunshot wounds: "Each year, approximately 30,000 to 50,000 Americans are killed secondary to gunshot wounds. This upper range nearly equals the number of fatalities (59,021) sustained during the 12 years (1961 to 1973) of the Vietnam war. (1) In 2003, the last year for which these statistics are available, 30,136 persons were fatally wounded by firearms, representing 18.4% of all injury-related fatalities."
http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm
Just last year, 16,272 Americans were murdered in USA-in one year. 1,382,012 individuals suffered violent crime; 89,000 individuals were victims of forceful rape. Last year, 304,059,724 populated the United States and 11,149,927 were the victims of some forceful traumatizing and/or lethal crime.
SERIAL KILLERS LOOSE IN AMERICA:
http://fbilibrary.fbiacademy.edu/bibliographies/serialkillers.htm
"Authorities estimate that there are between 35-50 serial killers on the loose in the United States-and new reports of suspected killers are constantly surfacing all over the globe." According to an FBI Behavioral Unit study 85% of the world's serial killers are in America.
Published October 29, 2007: LINK BETWEEN ANIMAL ABUSE AND SERIAL KILLERS
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/425882/the_link_between_animal_abuse_and_serial.html?cat=17
"Ted Bundy, David Berkowitz and Jeffrey Dahmer have more in common than just being serial killers. These three murderers are also connected by the fact that each of them tortured and/or killed animals during their childhoods. "Researchers as well as FBI and other law enforcement agencies nationwide have linked animal cruelty to domestic violence, child abuse, serial killings and to the recent rash of killings by school age children", says Dr. Randall Lockwood (vice president of training and initiatives for the Humane Society of the United States.
Some children are cruel to and torture animals to impress their peers, but future serial killers usually torture animals purely for their own enjoyment. Animal abuse is a recognized sign of a mental disorder. If a child hurts animals it should be a red flag and immediate action should be taken. While there are many factors that contribute to someone becoming a serial killer, the one constant they share is animal abuse.
Jeffrey Dahmer showed an intense interest in dismembering animals as a child. As an adult he was charged with murdering and dismembering at least sixteen people."
FINALLY: "One of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child is to kill or torture an animal and get away with it," Margaret Meade, Anthropologist.
I am just want to point out some facts before authorizing what you are doing and the legal liabilities should a child get harmed from this hunt, and the damage it may do to the child-may even create future violent criminals. Of course you all are going to do what you want anyway-but at least now you know the very real possible serious consequences of your decision. Of course the parents are agreeing to it, but you will be responsible for holding and encouraging it. Keep in mind when it comes to their kids getting hurt-parents SUE. Guess what--ACCIDENTS HAPPEN! That's why they call them accidents.
Sincerely,
CHILDREN 8-16 RECRUITED TO SHOOT HOGS TO DEATH IN FLORIDA
The Southwest Florida Water Management District is sponsoring a "hunt" by winning essay contest applicants. The contest was open to children 8-16. There were to be 24 winners, but the contest attracted only 20 applicants.
"One of the most dangerous things that can happen to a child is to kill or torture an animal and get away with it," - Margaret Meade, Anthropologist.
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009
WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSONALITY
It is sometimes possible to predict the likelihood of the person you are currently or are about to become involved with being abusive. Below are a list of behaviors and traits which are common in abusive personalities. These are commonly known as Warning Signs.
While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioral traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness. Generally, the more signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence. In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioral traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. extreme jealousy over ridiculous things).
Often the abuser will initially try to explain his/her behavior as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviors become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.
Jealousy
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
Controlling Behavior
Controlling behavior is often disguised or excused as concern. Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry or upset if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held, or why you did something he/she was not involved in. As this behavior gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room. Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalize you for making the wrong ones. Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not.
Quick Involvement
Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. The abuser will often claim 'love at first sight', that you are 'made for each other', or that you are the only person whom he could ever talk to so openly, feel so at home with, could understand him so well. He/she may tell you that they have never loved anyone so much or felt so loved by anyone so much before, when you have really only known each other for a short amount of time. He/she needs someone desperately, and will pressure you to commit to him/her or make love before you feel the relationship has reached 'that stage'. He/she may also make you feel guilty for not committing yourself to him/her.
Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect husband, wife, mother, father, lover, and friend. He/she is very dependent on you for all his/her needs, and may tell you he/she can fulfill all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
Isolation
The abuser may try to curtail your social interaction. He/she may prevent you from spending time with your friends or family and demand that you only go places 'together'. He/she may accuse you of being 'tied to your mother's apron strings', not be committed to the relationship, or view people who are your personal friends as 'causing trouble' or 'trying to put a wedge' between you. He/she may want to live in the country without a phone, not let you use the car, stop you from working or gaining further education or qualifications.
Blame-shifting for Problems
Very rarely will an abusive personality accept responsibility for any negative situation or problem. If they are unemployed, can't hold down a job, were thrown out of college or University or fall out with their family, it is always someone else's fault, be it the boss, the government, or their mother. They may feel that someone is always doing them wrong, or out to get him. He/she may make a mistakes and then blame you for upsetting him/her or preventing him/her from doing as they wished to.
Blame-shifting for Feelings
The abuser will deny feelings stem from within him/her but see them as reactions to your behavior or attitude toward him/her. He/she may tell you that 'you make me mad', 'you're hurting me by not doing what I ask', or that he/she cannot help feeling mad, upset, etc. Feelings may be used to manipulate you, i.e. 'I would not be angry if you didn't ...' Positive emotions will often also be seen as originating outside the abuser, but are more difficult to detect. Statements such as 'You make me happy' or 'You make me feel good about myself' are also signs that the abuser feels you are responsible for his sense of well-being. Either way, you become in his/her mind the cause of good and bad feelings and are therefore responsible for his/her emotional well-being and happiness. Consequently, you are also to blame for any negative feelings such as anger, upset or depression.
Hypersensitivity
Most abusers have very low self-esteem and are therefore easily insulted or upset. They may claim their feelings are 'hurt' when they are really angry, or take unrelated comments as personal attacks. They may perceive normal set-backs (having to work additional hours, being asked to help out, receiving a parking fine, etc.) as grave personal injustices. They may view your preference for something which differs from their own as a criticism of their taste and therefore themselves (e.g. blue wallpaper rather than pink, etc.).
Cruelty to Animals
The abuser may punishes animals brutally, be insensitive to their pain or suffering, or neglect to care for the animals to the point of cruelty, e.g. not feeding them all day, leaving them in areas he/she knows will cause them suffering or distress. There is a strong correlation between cruelty to animals and domestic violence which is still being researched. (For more information and personal experiences, see Domestic Violence and Cruelty to Animals.)
Cruelty to Children
The abusers unrealistic expectations of their partner are often mirrored in their attitude toward children. He/she will think of children as 'small adults' and blame the children for not being responsible, having common sense or understanding. He/she may expect children to be capable far beyond their ability (e.g. is angry with a two-year old for wetting their pants or being sick on the carpet, waking at night or being upset by nightmares) and will often meet out punishments for 'naughtiness' the child could not be aware of. Abusers may tease children until they cry, or punish children way beyond what could be deemed appropriate. He/she may not want children to eat at the table, expect them to stay quiet, or keep to their room all evening while he/she is at home. Since abusers want all your attention themselves, they resent your spending time with the children or any normal demands and needs the children may have. As above (cruelty to animals), there is a very strong link between Domestic Violence and Child Abuse.
'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He/she may pressurize you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "rape" excites him. He/she may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he/she could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
Rigid Gender Roles
Abusers usually believe in stereotypical gender roles. A man may expect a woman to serve him; stay at home, obey him in all things - even things that are criminal in nature. A male abuser will often see women as inferior to men, more stupid, unable to be a whole person without a relationship. Female abusers may expect the man to provide for them entirely, shift the responsibility for her well-being onto him or heckle him as being 'not a real man' if he shows any weakness or emotion.
Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him/her. He/she may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Very rarely do abusers conform to the stereotypical image of a constantly harsh, nasty or violent person, either in public or in private. More frequently the abuser portrays a perfectly normal and pleasant picture to the outside world (often they have responsible jobs or are respected and important members of the local community or Church) and reserves the abuse for you in the privacy of your own home. Nor are abusers always overtly abusive or cruel, but can display apparent kindness and consideration. This Jekyll and Hyde tendency of the abuser serves to further confuse the victim, while protecting themselves from any form of suspicion from outsiders. Many victims describe "sudden" changes in mood - one minute nice and the next explosive or hysterical, or one minute happy and the next minute sad. This does not indicate some special "mental problem" but are typical of abusive personalities, and related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.
Drink or Substance Abuse
While neither drinking or the use of drugs are signs of an abusive personality, heavy drinking or drug abuse may be a warning sign and do increase the risks of abuse, especially violence, taking place. Often an abusive person will blame the drink for his/her abuse. However, a person who, knowing there is a risk he/she could be violent when drinking or on drugs, chooses to get drunk or high, is in effect choosing to abuse. The link between substance abuse and domestic abuse is still being researched, and it is apparent that while neither alcohol nor drugs necessarily cause violence, they do increase the risk of violence. (See What about alcohol and domestic abuse?)
History of Battering or Sexual Violence
Very rarely is abuse or violence a one-off event: a batterer will beat any woman he is with; a sexually abusive person will be abusive toward all his intimate partners. Situational circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality. Sometimes friends or family may try to warn you about the abuser. Sometimes the abuser may tell you himself/herself that he/she has hit or sexually assaulted someone in the past. However, they may further go on to explain that "she made me do it by ..." or in some other way not take responsibility and shift the blame on to the victim. They may tell you that it won't happen with you because "you love them enough to prevent it" or "you won't be stupid enough to wind me up that much". Once again, this is denying their own responsibility for the abuse, and shifting the responsibility for the relationship to remain abuse-free on to you. Past violence is one of the strongest pointers that abuse will occur. If at all possible, try to speak to their previous girlfriends.
Negative Attitude toward Women
Some men may tell you that you are different to all the women they have known before, who display a lack of respect of women generally or who talk negatively and disrespectfully of their previous wives or girlfriends. They may tell you that you are special, not like the others and that they consider themselves to be the luckiest man alive to have found the last decent woman. It is not likely to be long before they remember that you are a woman and don't deserve their respect.
Threatening Violence
This would obviously include any threat of physical force such as "If you speak to him/her again, I'll kill you", or "If any wife of mine acted like John's did, I'd give her a right seeing to". Threats are designed to manipulate and control you, to keep you in your place and prevent you making your own decisions. Most people do not threaten their mates, but an abuser will excuse this behavior by saying "everybody talks like that.", maintaining he/she is only saying this because the relationship or you are so important to him/her, tell you you're "over-sensitive" for being upset by such threats, or obviously want to hurt him/her. Threats can also be less overt, such as "If you leave me, I will kill myself", or "You are so wonderful, I will never let you go/couldn't live without you".
Breaking or Striking Objects
The abusive person may break your treasured object, beat his/her fists on the table or chair or throw something at or past you. Breaking your things is often used as a punishment for some imagined misdeed on your part. Sometimes it will be justified by saying that now that you are with him/her, you don't need these items any more. Breaking your possessions also has the effect of de-personalizing you, denying you your individuality or literally trying to break links to your past. Beating items of furniture or throwing objects will often be justified by saying you wound him/her up so much they lost control, once again shifting the blame for this behavior on to you, but is actually used to terrorize you into submission. Only very immature or abusive people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten or intimidate them.
Any Force during an Argument
An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his/her hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout 'right in your face'. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that actual violence is a strong possibility.
The above list was prepared with reference to
A Guide to recognizing Behaviors of Abusive persons, Cheektowaga Police Department, (link no longer active - sorry!)
Signs To Look For In A Battering Personality, free2bme2k, (link no longer active - sorry!)
my own experiences, and those of other survivors of DV with whom I have had the privilege of discussing this topic.
Further Links which may be useful:
Mr Wrong or Mr Right - a brief guide by Pat Craven from the Freedom Programme
While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioral traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness. Generally, the more signs are present, the greater the likelihood of violence. In some cases, an abuser may have only a couple of behavioral traits that can be recognized, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. extreme jealousy over ridiculous things).
Often the abuser will initially try to explain his/her behavior as signs of his/her love and concern, and the victim may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviors become more severe and serve to dominate, control and manipulate the victim.
Jealousy
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
Controlling Behavior
Controlling behavior is often disguised or excused as concern. Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry or upset if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held, or why you did something he/she was not involved in. As this behavior gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room. Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalize you for making the wrong ones. Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not.
Quick Involvement
Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. The abuser will often claim 'love at first sight', that you are 'made for each other', or that you are the only person whom he could ever talk to so openly, feel so at home with, could understand him so well. He/she may tell you that they have never loved anyone so much or felt so loved by anyone so much before, when you have really only known each other for a short amount of time. He/she needs someone desperately, and will pressure you to commit to him/her or make love before you feel the relationship has reached 'that stage'. He/she may also make you feel guilty for not committing yourself to him/her.
Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect husband, wife, mother, father, lover, and friend. He/she is very dependent on you for all his/her needs, and may tell you he/she can fulfill all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
Isolation
The abuser may try to curtail your social interaction. He/she may prevent you from spending time with your friends or family and demand that you only go places 'together'. He/she may accuse you of being 'tied to your mother's apron strings', not be committed to the relationship, or view people who are your personal friends as 'causing trouble' or 'trying to put a wedge' between you. He/she may want to live in the country without a phone, not let you use the car, stop you from working or gaining further education or qualifications.
Blame-shifting for Problems
Very rarely will an abusive personality accept responsibility for any negative situation or problem. If they are unemployed, can't hold down a job, were thrown out of college or University or fall out with their family, it is always someone else's fault, be it the boss, the government, or their mother. They may feel that someone is always doing them wrong, or out to get him. He/she may make a mistakes and then blame you for upsetting him/her or preventing him/her from doing as they wished to.
Blame-shifting for Feelings
The abuser will deny feelings stem from within him/her but see them as reactions to your behavior or attitude toward him/her. He/she may tell you that 'you make me mad', 'you're hurting me by not doing what I ask', or that he/she cannot help feeling mad, upset, etc. Feelings may be used to manipulate you, i.e. 'I would not be angry if you didn't ...' Positive emotions will often also be seen as originating outside the abuser, but are more difficult to detect. Statements such as 'You make me happy' or 'You make me feel good about myself' are also signs that the abuser feels you are responsible for his sense of well-being. Either way, you become in his/her mind the cause of good and bad feelings and are therefore responsible for his/her emotional well-being and happiness. Consequently, you are also to blame for any negative feelings such as anger, upset or depression.
Hypersensitivity
Most abusers have very low self-esteem and are therefore easily insulted or upset. They may claim their feelings are 'hurt' when they are really angry, or take unrelated comments as personal attacks. They may perceive normal set-backs (having to work additional hours, being asked to help out, receiving a parking fine, etc.) as grave personal injustices. They may view your preference for something which differs from their own as a criticism of their taste and therefore themselves (e.g. blue wallpaper rather than pink, etc.).
Cruelty to Animals
The abuser may punishes animals brutally, be insensitive to their pain or suffering, or neglect to care for the animals to the point of cruelty, e.g. not feeding them all day, leaving them in areas he/she knows will cause them suffering or distress. There is a strong correlation between cruelty to animals and domestic violence which is still being researched. (For more information and personal experiences, see Domestic Violence and Cruelty to Animals.)
Cruelty to Children
The abusers unrealistic expectations of their partner are often mirrored in their attitude toward children. He/she will think of children as 'small adults' and blame the children for not being responsible, having common sense or understanding. He/she may expect children to be capable far beyond their ability (e.g. is angry with a two-year old for wetting their pants or being sick on the carpet, waking at night or being upset by nightmares) and will often meet out punishments for 'naughtiness' the child could not be aware of. Abusers may tease children until they cry, or punish children way beyond what could be deemed appropriate. He/she may not want children to eat at the table, expect them to stay quiet, or keep to their room all evening while he/she is at home. Since abusers want all your attention themselves, they resent your spending time with the children or any normal demands and needs the children may have. As above (cruelty to animals), there is a very strong link between Domestic Violence and Child Abuse.
'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He/she may pressurize you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "rape" excites him. He/she may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he/she could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
Rigid Gender Roles
Abusers usually believe in stereotypical gender roles. A man may expect a woman to serve him; stay at home, obey him in all things - even things that are criminal in nature. A male abuser will often see women as inferior to men, more stupid, unable to be a whole person without a relationship. Female abusers may expect the man to provide for them entirely, shift the responsibility for her well-being onto him or heckle him as being 'not a real man' if he shows any weakness or emotion.
Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him/her. He/she may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Very rarely do abusers conform to the stereotypical image of a constantly harsh, nasty or violent person, either in public or in private. More frequently the abuser portrays a perfectly normal and pleasant picture to the outside world (often they have responsible jobs or are respected and important members of the local community or Church) and reserves the abuse for you in the privacy of your own home. Nor are abusers always overtly abusive or cruel, but can display apparent kindness and consideration. This Jekyll and Hyde tendency of the abuser serves to further confuse the victim, while protecting themselves from any form of suspicion from outsiders. Many victims describe "sudden" changes in mood - one minute nice and the next explosive or hysterical, or one minute happy and the next minute sad. This does not indicate some special "mental problem" but are typical of abusive personalities, and related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.
Drink or Substance Abuse
While neither drinking or the use of drugs are signs of an abusive personality, heavy drinking or drug abuse may be a warning sign and do increase the risks of abuse, especially violence, taking place. Often an abusive person will blame the drink for his/her abuse. However, a person who, knowing there is a risk he/she could be violent when drinking or on drugs, chooses to get drunk or high, is in effect choosing to abuse. The link between substance abuse and domestic abuse is still being researched, and it is apparent that while neither alcohol nor drugs necessarily cause violence, they do increase the risk of violence. (See What about alcohol and domestic abuse?)
History of Battering or Sexual Violence
Very rarely is abuse or violence a one-off event: a batterer will beat any woman he is with; a sexually abusive person will be abusive toward all his intimate partners. Situational circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality. Sometimes friends or family may try to warn you about the abuser. Sometimes the abuser may tell you himself/herself that he/she has hit or sexually assaulted someone in the past. However, they may further go on to explain that "she made me do it by ..." or in some other way not take responsibility and shift the blame on to the victim. They may tell you that it won't happen with you because "you love them enough to prevent it" or "you won't be stupid enough to wind me up that much". Once again, this is denying their own responsibility for the abuse, and shifting the responsibility for the relationship to remain abuse-free on to you. Past violence is one of the strongest pointers that abuse will occur. If at all possible, try to speak to their previous girlfriends.
Negative Attitude toward Women
Some men may tell you that you are different to all the women they have known before, who display a lack of respect of women generally or who talk negatively and disrespectfully of their previous wives or girlfriends. They may tell you that you are special, not like the others and that they consider themselves to be the luckiest man alive to have found the last decent woman. It is not likely to be long before they remember that you are a woman and don't deserve their respect.
Threatening Violence
This would obviously include any threat of physical force such as "If you speak to him/her again, I'll kill you", or "If any wife of mine acted like John's did, I'd give her a right seeing to". Threats are designed to manipulate and control you, to keep you in your place and prevent you making your own decisions. Most people do not threaten their mates, but an abuser will excuse this behavior by saying "everybody talks like that.", maintaining he/she is only saying this because the relationship or you are so important to him/her, tell you you're "over-sensitive" for being upset by such threats, or obviously want to hurt him/her. Threats can also be less overt, such as "If you leave me, I will kill myself", or "You are so wonderful, I will never let you go/couldn't live without you".
Breaking or Striking Objects
The abusive person may break your treasured object, beat his/her fists on the table or chair or throw something at or past you. Breaking your things is often used as a punishment for some imagined misdeed on your part. Sometimes it will be justified by saying that now that you are with him/her, you don't need these items any more. Breaking your possessions also has the effect of de-personalizing you, denying you your individuality or literally trying to break links to your past. Beating items of furniture or throwing objects will often be justified by saying you wound him/her up so much they lost control, once again shifting the blame for this behavior on to you, but is actually used to terrorize you into submission. Only very immature or abusive people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten or intimidate them.
Any Force during an Argument
An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his/her hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout 'right in your face'. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that actual violence is a strong possibility.
The above list was prepared with reference to
A Guide to recognizing Behaviors of Abusive persons, Cheektowaga Police Department, (link no longer active - sorry!)
Signs To Look For In A Battering Personality, free2bme2k, (link no longer active - sorry!)
my own experiences, and those of other survivors of DV with whom I have had the privilege of discussing this topic.
Further Links which may be useful:
Mr Wrong or Mr Right - a brief guide by Pat Craven from the Freedom Programme
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